Family Torn Apart

A boy once asked his dad, Dad, how do wars begin? Well, he said, take World War I, said his father. That got started when Germany invaded Belgium. Immediately his wife interrupted, Tell the boy the truth. It began because somebody was murdered. The husband snapped back, Are you answering the question, or am I? Turning her back upon him in a huff, the wife stormed out of the room and slammed the door. When the dishes stopped rattling in the cupboard, an uneasy silence followed, broken at length by the boy, Daddy, you don’t have to tell me anymore. I know how. And to such a passage we come this morning.

As we continue with our series on the life of Jacob, From Deception to Dependence, we find ourselves this morning in Genesis 29:31-30:24. We left last week by covering verses 1 through 30, where we saw how Laban had deceived Jacob, who had always deceived everyone else but himself, and was able to get 14 years of labor out of him. And in that context, we ended verse 30 by saying this statement that would become detrimental to the section we’ll be covering this morning, which is this, verse 30. His love for Rachel was greater than his love for Leah. And because of that, conflict starts in the family. This past weekend as we were in Branson, we actually had a little bit of discussion about polygamy in the Bible. And there was a profound statement that was made by one, and it’s true, it is that polygamy was never part of the perfect will of God. God’s design for man has always been one man and one wife married to each other. But in the Old Testament, God would permit polygamy. It was not His perfect will. For the multiplication of godly generation in a wicked world, God would allow polygamy to happen. But that was never the perfect will of God. But we talked about it, and we all arrived at one conclusion. Any instance in God’s Word where polygamy happened, there was always conflict that happened because of it, because it was never part of the perfect plan of God. And we see the problems arising in this section we’ll be covering today, because two women are really fighting and craving the attention of one man, as we will see in God’s Word.

Verse 31 tells us this, when the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, He enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless. In verses 1-30, we talk about the fact that God’s name is not mentioned, there’s not a single prayer that is uttered to God, there is never a seeking of the face of God to receive the blessings that Jacob was looking for, or even in his marriage or leading up to the marriage of Rachel and Leah. But behind the scenes, as we talked about, there’s a God who is always at work, who sees everything and knows everything, and He is the one who is also seeing the fact that Leah was not being loved, but Rachel was being loved by God. When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, He did something for her. He enabled her to conceive, but Rachel, the Bible says, remained childless. And starting in verse 32 onwards, next three verses, we see the list of the first children being born to Leah, who would become the first tribes of Israel. And look at the names that are given to them and the meaning of those names as well. Shows already the conflict between Leah and Rachel. Reuben, and the first thing she names him Reuben, not because God has given him a gift, but because Leah says, surely my husband will love me now. The focus is not on the child that is born. The focus is on somehow getting the love and attention of her husband. Second one to be born, Simeon, again named so because the Lord heard that I am not loved. Reuben literally means my husband’s love, or he will love me now. Simeon literally means the Lord has heard. And then thirdly, Levi, my husband will become attached to me. The word Levi means attached in Hebrew, to be attached to something. So all three of these names and children given, the primary focus again is the husband and his love and attention towards her. There is no mention of God in any of this other than God hearing, but doing such things so that her husband’s heart will be turned towards her. Finally, she does the right thing by naming the fourth child, Judah. This time I will praise the Lord. You know what that means? The first three times praise didn’t really happen, but this time I will praise the Lord. It took four children for her to turn away the attention from the husband and finally focus on the one who actually gave her the children, which is Judah. This time I will praise the Lord.

And then continuing on to 30:1, four children born to Leah, none born to Rachel. The match is now four to zero. Rachel is running behind and she is not happy about it. Verse one, when Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, give me children or I will die. We already had several reasons not to like Rachel a lot. But now as you read through chapter 30, you see her to be absolutely dramatic. I mean, if you can use that word to describe any woman, it would be Rachel in God’s Word. Surely gifted, beautiful by all accounts, even in God’s Word, but not given to great godly characters or right temperament in her life as well. She turns to her husband and says, give me children or I will die. In verse two, Jacob is not being an understanding and loving husband either. Look at verse two, Jacob became angry with her and said, am I in the place of God who has kept you from having children? Now Jacob’s response is a response of probably every man that is sitting over here. Whenever our wives become dramatic and make dramatic statements, our response is usually one of frustration and anger. This is a natural response. And Jacob probably responds right way and he says, am I in the place of God who has kept you from having children? So she has a proposal for him. In the midst of all this, where Jacob throws up his arms and says, I can’t do anything about you having children. She proposes the same thing that her great, Jacob’s great grandmother, grandmother Sarah had proposed. What is that? Take my maidservant, let her become a surrogate mother and have children for ourselves. Exactly what it says. Jacob goes along with the plan, not remembering that how the plan has backfired that was made by Sarah to Abraham. And we are still reaping the benefits of that plan thousands of years later, right down in the Middle East. And so, but Jacob goes along with the plan. And in verse six, she has a child by the name of Dan through her maidservant. Rachel said, God has vindicated me. He has listened to my plea and given me a son. Immediately here, you see again, the conflict between them two. It is not the blessing of the son that he’s focusing on. She actually uses a legal language word here, literally means we have both gone to court and the judge, the God has ruled in my favor. That is exactly what it means when it says, God has vindicated me, has found me to be the one worthy to receive this child. If I were keeping score, I would tell Rachel, it’s still four to one. But she says, God has vindicated me. He has listened to my plea and given me a son. And because of that, she named him Dan. Continuing on again, she pleads to the Lord and through the maidservant again. Verse eight, Rachel said, I have had a great struggle with my sister and I have won. She named him Naphtali. You see conflict, problems, jealousy, vindication, struggling happening between the two sisters. Even in the midst of the happy occasion of the birth of the children, the focus is on winning. The focus is on defeating. The focus is on having an upper hand over the other sister. The word Naphtali literally means struggle, and that’s why she named him Naphtali. So this continues on. And we see Leah seeing that Rachel is having children through the surrogate, then continues to ask. And so she also seeing that God has now closed her womb, also now offers her own maidservant to Jacob. And verse 11, a child is born to them. And Leah said, what good fortune. So she named him God. So now Rachel has two sons. She has four. Now she’s not happy because now she sees that she’s not having children anymore. She also comes up with her own plan through her maidservant and Gath is born. Verse 12, then second child is born to the same maidservant. How happy I am, the women will call me happy. So she named him Asher. Asher, your name means happy. And that’s why Jacob was given the name Asher, because Leah was so happy, the second child was born to her maidservant as well. So now the score is six to two, six children through Leah’s plans and two through Rachel.

And then we come to verse 14, the oldest son, Reuben, decided to take a stroll in the field. During wheat harvest, the Bible says, Reuben went out into the fields and found some mandrake plants. What are these mandrake plants? They actually belong to the tomato family, kind of a strange plant. In tradition, it was thought to be like aphrodisiac. And not only that, it was thought to be something that aids in fertility. And so he finds these mandrake plants that were not very abundantly available, kind of rare plants, and he takes the fruit and he brings it to his mother, Leah. But Rachel sees that the child Reuben has brought these fruits from the plants to Leah and says, Rachel says, please give me some of your son’s mandrake. She’s trying to think of some way that she could bear children of her own for Jacob. And knowing fully well Rachel, again, being very cunning and conniving, offers up a night with Jacob in exchange for the mandrake plants, and so a son was born again to Leah. Verse 18, then Leah said, God has rewarded me for giving my servant to my husband, so she named him Issachar. It’s very interesting that nowhere in the Bible does it say that this was really the plan of God. They kind of did their own thing, but they attributed it to the blessings of God. And they actually said, God is the one who’s rewarding me for my plan and names him Issachar. And in verse 20, again, she is given a child. Then Leah said, God has presented me with a precious gift. This time my husband will treat me with honor because I have borne him six sons, so she named him Sibalun. So eight children, total, born to Leah and maidservant, only two born to the maidservant of Rachel.

Then finally, after all this struggle of back and forth, Rachel not giving, able to give birth on her own, we come to the end of this section in verses 22 through 24. Then God remembered Rachel. He listened to her, enabled her to conceive. She became pregnant and gave birth to a son and said, God has taken away my disgrace. She named him Joseph and said, may the Lord add to me another son. She names him Joseph and she’s not content or happy. Look what she says at the end of having Joseph, may the Lord add to me another son. Remember the word that she spoke in the beginning, give me children or I’ll die. So interesting that after the birth of Benjamin, she will literally die, fulfilling her own words that she spoke at the beginning of 30:1, but that’s for another sermon. We’ll come to that later on. And thus the 12 and their daughter, Dina, was born to them, the 12 children of Jacob was born through Leah, through Rachel and through the maidservants.

A passage is just this, that you read through and often kind of skim through and just learn maybe the 12 names for memorization purposes to know the original 12 tribes of Israel. What do they have to teach to us from this passage? What God wants to teach to us living in the 21st century today. Why is this detailed account of the conflict between these two sisters and this dysfunctional family where children are being born to? What are the things that it is trying to teach to us from this passage? First thing is this, selfishness and lack of dependence on God is the root cause for the quarrels and conflicts in our lives. Selfishness is a result why quarrels happen. Lack of dependence on God is why quarrels and conflicts happen. As I’m standing before you and speaking to you, hopefully these kind of quarrels and conflicts of a different kind are not going on in your own family. But there could be quarrels with siblings, there could be conflicts with husband and wife, there could be conflicts with cousins, and there could be conflicts with parents and brothers, parents and children, and even siblings can come into conflicts. What is the root cause of all these things? We can see in the story of Rachel and Leah that there is selfishness and a lack of dependence upon God that can be seen throughout these passages. When James would write in the New Testament, he would ask this question, James 4:1-2, what causes fights and quarrels among you? And think about this for a second. And the good thing about God’s Word is that it just doesn’t ask the question, but it also gives us the answer as well. Then he asked and tell us really what causes conflicts and quarrels. And they come from your desires that battle within you. You desire, but you do not get it. So what do you do? You kill to get it. You covet something, but you do not get it. So what do you want to do? You quarrel and fight for it. You do not have because you do not ask God. Here it seems like they ask God, but you know what the problem is? Verse 3. When you ask, you do not receive because you ask with wrong motives. Rachel had to wait many, many years to receive an answer to her asking. You know why? What was the motivation behind having children? To gain an upper hand over her sister and to gain somehow more love from her own husband. That you may spend what you get on your pleasures. God’s Word is telling us a lot of times our asking is not answered by God because it is filled with selfish desires and wrong motives that are not godly in the presence of God. Our selfish desires and our lack of dependence create conflicts. We are living in a time when there is so much conflicts and quarrels all around us. And this is sometimes exaggerated by the proliferation of social media and all the things that we see around us. People are constantly fighting and quarreling with each other. There’s so much discord all around us. It all happens because of our selfish desires and willing to set aside our own selfish motives for the purpose of greater good, especially the glory of God. There is something to be said about people living in harmony. People staying together. There is a great deal of power and strength in unity and people living in the unity that God wants them to have. There’s a funny story that’s written by Barbara Brockhoff in her book, Grapes of Wrath or Grace. She says a group of American tourists were taking a bus tour in Rome led by an English speaking guide. The first stop was the Basilica in Piazza, which was surrounded by several lanes of relentless Roman traffic. After they were safely dropped off, the group climbed to the steps for a quick tour of the church. Then they spread out to board the bus back, which was now parked across the street from the church. The frantic guide shouted for the group to stay together. He hollered out to them, you cross one by one. They hit you one by one. But if you cross together, they think you will hurt the car. They won’t hit you. You hear that? You cross one by one, they hit you one by one. But if you cross as a group, the guy who’s driving the car is actually scared of you because he’s going to be more concerned about the well-being of his car than you yourself. So there’s much to be said about unity, especially unity of the spirit. We see this conflict that is going on over here.

Second thing in the story of the conflict between Leia and Rachel is this. This is what happened to both of them. They lost sight of the blessings of God in the midst of the one thing that is robbing you of your joy. How many people are sitting here this morning thinking about that one thing that is bothering you in your life and forgetting the hundreds of blessings that God has given to you? Rachel received the love of her husband so beautifully, but she was not satisfied. She’s wanted children, rightfully so, but she was so preoccupied by that one thing that it created conflict in her life. Leia was not that loved by her husband, but she received tremendous blessings of children in her life, but she was always preoccupied by somehow buying the love of Jacob in her life. In our life, I think we need to stop and think how blessed we are in our life. We need to count our blessings, and we need to name them one by one. Oftentimes our lives are lived preoccupied with the one thing that we are praying for, and we forget to praise God for all the other blessings He has given to us. How much of your prayer life is filled with that one thing? That one thing, maybe it is marriage, and you spend hour after hour, day after day preoccupied with that one thing that you neglect all the other blessings that God has given to you in your life. For many of you, it is that one backache. For many of you, it is diabetes. For many of you, it is blood pressure. Many of you, it is a heart condition. Some of you, it is a prodigal son. Some of you, it is a family that is torn apart, but you are forgetting to praise God in the midst of that one thing, because you’re forgetting the many blessings of God in your life. The one thing is preoccupying you, especially as believers in the New Testament. Even if God does not have given you anything physically to thank Him, and He has given you many things, oh great are the spiritual blessings that we have, because we are in the Lord Jesus Christ. Even this morning in Sunday school, we talked about it. We have the abundance of God’s Word in our generation more than any other generation that has ever walked on the face of the earth. Every person sitting here this morning can praise God for the Word, God’s Word that has been given in abundance in your life. Every person who is a believer this morning, sitting and listening to me this morning, can praise God for the Holy Spirit that is living inside of your heart this morning. The Holy Spirit came, the Holy Spirit left in the Old Testament. In the New Testament, the Holy Spirit came and dwells in the life of the believer. That is the greatest blessing that we have in our life today. The Holy Spirit is counseling us. The Holy Spirit is empowering us. The Holy Spirit is equipping us. The Holy Spirit is filling our hearts with wisdom every moment, every moment of our lives. Oh, how much we have to praise God for. Oh, how often do you praise for Jesus? Not just a distant prophecy that is going to happen in the future. One who came in the fullness of time and already died for you on the cross of Calvary. And not only that, every one of your sins were paid for on the cross of Calvary. Not only that, three days later, He rose again, thus taking the sting of death forever from your life and my life. We don’t live in fear anymore, just like the Old Testament saint lived in the fear of death. Because we know where we are going when we take our last breath here on earth. Absent from the body is present with the Lord. I’m trying to recount to you all the blessings that are yours. Because you are a New Testament believer sitting here and worshipping God. We are people who once were lame that are walking today. We are people who once were blind that are seeing today. We are people who once were dead who are alive today. We are people that are miracles because we have resurrection power that is flowing through our mortal bodies. We have so much to be praising God. Church, let me tell you this morning, rather than focusing on the one thing that is lacking in your life, focus on the eternal blessings of God. When you do that, when you do that, suddenly your praise changes, your countenance changes. You are not defined by the one thing that is missing in your life. You are not ultimately defined by the one thing that is missing in your life. Every person sitting here has one, two, three things that they are crying out to the Lord for. But do not ignore the hundreds of blessings that are yours. Praise God. Do not be weeping. Do not be lamenting. Worship Him because there are numerous other blessings of the Lord. Oh, however, to recount them, my words would not be enough, the blessings that God has given.

Thirdly, God moves in mysterious ways to perform His wonders. In the midst of all of this dysfunctional quarreling and family, you know what is happening? The 12 tribes of Israel are born into the face of the earth. By the time Moses writes Genesis chapter 30, they have multiplied, as God had promised, to a population of two million people covering the earth. And even today, while the Philistines are forgotten and gone, while Amalekites are no longer on the face of the earth, while the Ammonites and the Moabites are gone in the annals of history, the people of Israel still flourish. Why? Because of the promise that came to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. But God said, I will multiply your children. I will bless you. They will cover the earth like the sand of the seashore. And if you can count the stars in the sky, you can count your generations. That was what is happening in the midst of the dysfunction of the family. God’s blessings must also be revealed in the midst of this group. These children born in the midst of this conflict and names that are given that does not seem like much godly names. Levi, as I mentioned last week, you’ll be a father of all the priests who would serve before the Lord Almighty and offer sacrifices to Him. Judah, you will be the ancestor of the Messiah who becomes salvation to all of our lives. In the midst of the dysfunction, God is performing His wonders. That is how God does. God does not let our messiness, our quarreling toward His plans. God takes the things that are messy in our life and even makes it into something so beautiful. Only God can do that. And that’s exactly what God is doing to the dysfunctional story of Leah and Rachel.

I’ll end with this. And that is quoting the words of William Cowper. William Cowper was an English hymnist, write beautiful songs for the Lord. In fact, some of the songs that we sing were written by him. But William Cowper also had a debilitating problem, one thing in his life. You know what? Chronic suicidal depression. Chronic suicidal depression. William Cowper, in the midst of writing beautiful hymns for the Lord, suffered from severe depression. Severe suicidal depression in which he came on the verge of committing suicide many times, even though he was a devoted man of God. I cannot stand here and explain to you how people of God who are so devoted could still be suicidal, but it happens. They can go into bouts of depression, it happens. People of God can have anxiety, it happens. These are not unnatural things. They can happen to even devoted people of God. But he will write this in one of his lesser-known hymn, but beautiful words, is this. He says, God moves in a mysterious way, his wonders to perform. He plants his footsteps in the sea and rides upon the storm. Deep in the dark and hidden mines with never-failing skill, he fashions all his bright designs and works his sovereign will. There’s a God who is fashioning and working behind the scenes, even when you cannot see it. God moves in mysterious ways, his wonders to perform. Then here is his counsel to us. Oh, fearful saints, take new courage even this morning. The clouds that you now dread are big with mercy and will break in blessings on your head. You know the clouds that is over your head today that are dreadful? If you look very closely, you will see the merciful hand of a God and that they are filled with mercies. And one day those clouds will break and God’s mercy and showers of blessings will come on your head. He says, judge not the Lord by feeble sense. I love that sentence. You know what we have? Our five senses are feeble. He says, don’t judge the Lord by your senses, but trust him for his grace behind a frowning providence. Behind a providence where you say, God, why is my prayer of many years not answered? Why is this one thing still left in my life? He hides a smiling face that says, I know what I’m doing. I know my plans. I know my timing. I do everything perfectly. To you, it might look like a frown, but let me tell you, there’s a smiling face behind that frowning providence that you’re able to see with your five senses. Your God is a good God. Your God is a loving God. He does everything perfectly, but it takes a lot of faith to trust him, especially when we don’t see the end result. It takes a lot of faith to say, God, even I only see the frown, but let me believe that there’s a smiling face behind it. Allow me to see that, oh God. So here’s what we will say. So God, we trust in you. Oh God, we trust in you. When tears are great and comforts are few, we hope in mercies ever new, we trust in you. This morning, if tears are great in your life and comforts are few in your life, this is the admonition of God’s Word. Trust in him. He knows what he’s doing. He’s working, even when you don’t see it, his wonders to perform, God does in mysterious ways. Out of the quarreling of the selfish sisters came the eternal plan of redemption that God will bring about on the face of the earth. My God is always in the business of taking the messiness of our lives and make something so beautiful out of it. Only the eternal Potter with his eternal grace, with his eternal love and eternal almighty power can do such beautiful things, even in the midst of the dysfunctional lives of our lives here on earth.

Let’s look to the Lord in prayer. Heavenly Father, we thank you for your word. Lord, I pray that in the midst of the conflicts of our life, we will examine our heart for selfish desires and wrong motives that are delaying God’s provisions. We pray, oh God, that we’ll be people that strive to eliminate our selfishness to avoid conflicts in our life, oh God. Help us to see your blessings in the midst of the one thing that we are lacking. I pray, oh God, that we will always believe you and know that you perform wonders, even though your path to reach there are mysterious in nature. Help us to trust you, oh God, even when we cannot trace your plans. Thank you for hearing our prayer. For the name of the Lord Jesus that we pray, amen.